Currently Watching The History Boys By Samuel Anderson, James Corden, Stephen Campbell Moore, Richard Griffiths, Frances de la Tour see related

tRight now my life is kind of wacky... I dunno what's going on.. . but I'm really not enjoying it. I got a $290 speeding ticket a couple of weeks ago and i've been busting my ass to pay it off. I finally will tomorrow.. so yay. that's off my shoulders.

I just got back from my WVU orientation the other day...and my advisor was a complete idiot and didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. She even admited not knowing anything about my major....then why the hell are you advising me fuck face? They also won't take twelve of my credits...so I'm still a fucking sophmore. assholes.. then mom and I went to see my dorm/apartment thing. Ew. It's so small and ugly I REALLY hate it. but whatever.. at least I'm out of here.

I still see myself being taken advantage of.... I can't seem to stop it. It's just when someone asks me for money or for help...I feel as if I have to do it... i'm so fucking tired of it. The one person who's supposed to care about me the most...really just doesn't. And I find myself just sitting here waiting for him to just get over whatever he's going through and to come back to me. Well that's enough of that. I'm through waiting for anybody. So fuck him. Maybe when I'm finally gone, and he realizes that I'm not going to be there for him anymore.. maybe that's when he'll finally appreciate everything I've done for him.

I'm still more pissed than I can fucking explain on here. Sorry for cussing so much, but yea. I'm done.

It's been a couple of months since I've updated... not that anyone cares.. but mom's finally home from Iraq, and things have gotten a bit crazy around here. Everythings changed in my life.. and I'm not so sure if I like it or not. All I know is that i'm going to stop letting people take advantage of me, and stop letting people hold me at arms length. Sometimes i hate how life is, but it is what it is and you can't do a damn thing about it.

<3 to any who still read this shit.

Currently Watching The Color Purple By Danny Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, Margaret Avery, Oprah Winfrey, Willard E. Pugh, Akosua Busia, Desreta Jackson, Adolph Caesar, Rae Dawn Chong, Dana Ivey, Leonard Jackson, Bennet Guillory, John Patton Jr., Carl Anderson (II), Susan Beaubian, James Tillis, Phillip Strong, Laurence Fishburne, Peto Kinsaka, Lelo Masamba see related

I thought of dying
gazing into the black, seductive ice water
so glassy and so tranquil
I thought of dying
but in my place
Death's bony embrace
clutched listless children
gnawed by hunger;
prisoners on death row
detritus of their own childhoods;
poor shepherds grazing blunt-toothed animals
on landmined hillsides

I thought of dying,
to throw myself away
so much landfill
If it's no use to me
I could give it
I can holler with my lungs
at injustice
join hands in protest
at brutality
I realized that I had long been dead
but I could choose instead
to reawake
and be alive for them

I miss how things used to be...